Worker Bee

How did I think I was going to do a comp exam on May 23^rd? I postponed it as of a couple weeks ago, and that was sooo the best decision. Somehow I’ve had three days of rest since finals and otherwise have still been working ten hour days. How would I have found time to study or cram?

Work at PT job #1 has started up and I’m really pumped about that. I love operations and I’m helping develop plans to scale up, standardize and market a number of functions. And I just love the food recovery model – preventing food waste and helping people at the same time = win-win!

Also still finishing a bunch of writing for my assistantship that didn’t get done because of finals. Given that I was expected to finish that during the same time as I would have been studying for comps, well – it’s a good thing I dropped one because doing both in the same 15-day period would not have been possible. Too many hours and I’m still tired/recovering.

I got a second interview for PT job #2 though! Sooo excited! I’m nervous for it. It’s on the 30^th, the day after I get back from visiting family. Am going to practice for this one, because I really want this gig and it’s a unique style of interview.

Meanwhile, I’m working to finish this writing for my professor by end of day tomorrow so I can check that off the list, and working on some stuff for PT job #1 so I’ll have my hours for the week in before flying out on Wednesday. I also need to get to campus and modify a dataset for contract gig #2 with IJM – if I get PT job #2, I want that contract completed before training starts. The idea is not to be in a position of working more than two jobs at any one time, y’know? I’m good at multitasking, but to a point.

I need to do summer academic planning while I’m in Atlanta – it’s been on my list but hasn’t gotten done. Comps prep, dissertation proposal, and paper revisions have to happen. Things will settle once I get back, I’m sure. I’ll get PT gig #2 (knock-wood), assistantship and contract work will be completed, and I’ll get into a summer routine by mid-June. 30 hours a week of employment + an academic life is doable. I just feel all over the place right now but that’s OK.

I am so blessed to have work.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

A Budget Post

I just blew $30 on Amazon. Well, $34 to be exact. I got myself the new Dan Brown book and the LoTR trilogy (used). I budgeted $100 “mad money” for May, so it is from an allotted category, but I still feel guilty. That money should be added to the other $300 I put aside for Mom’s new hearing aid. But MAN I wanted that book for some fun reading (I’m a HUGE Dan Brown fan, been looking forward to its release for months), and I’ve wanted those DVDs for a while. I did get them used for $8, so it’s allowed, right?

Even when I budget for it, I feel guilty spending anything on myself. If I’m like this over $30, can you imagine what’s going to happen when I overhaul my wardrobe this summer?

Over the past seven years, the condition of my wardrobe has greatly deteriorated. I have very few items still nice enough for church, and even fewer items suitable for professional situations. Plus I’m tired of feeling like a bag lady. I think I might have posted about this on the blog here a couple years ago – let’s just say I never got around to sprucing up the wardrobe, So add two more years of wear and tear.

So here’s the plan – if I get the third job, I am spending between $1000-1500 on new clothes and a new pair of really good shoes. Every category of wardrobe needs major overhaul and I’ll get rid of all the worn-out stuff to make room – not getting rid of my preference for minimalism. I’ll try to donate as much as possible, but frankly most of my stuff is too worn out even for that.

But here’s the mental problem – I know this is an acceptable thing to do because I’m making up for six years of not buying clothes. So it’s like six years of clothing spending all in one go, and to be clear: I want quality. I want classic clothes with style that will last a long time – not designer, because I don’t care about that, but being well-made is non-negotiable. I’ll probably go the uniform route – if I find a crisp, classic blouse I like, I’ll buy five of it in different colors. And suits – if I find a good, classic black one that fits well, I’ll buy three of it. I still have my exact list to make, but you get the idea.

However, that’s a LOT of money to part with in one shot. Somehow I find that easy to do with travel, but with stuff? No. Even when looking like a bag lady is not an acceptable option, and even when I’ve budgeted by living frugally in general and the amount is really okay – it won’t be the money, it will be my mental block that is the problem.

Of course if I don’t get the third job, this all goes out the window, but I’m thinking about it anyway.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

Knock-Knock!

Hello? Is anybody still here?

*crickets*

Good thing I don’t write this blog for a following that expects regular posts, eh? Just finished the semester this past Monday – last semester of coursework ever. What a relief!

It was a rocky one – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Tears, laughs, stomach aches, sleepless nights and unfathomable exhaustion. Had a bit of a crisis of faith, too, like I’ve really chosen the wronnnnnnng path by doing this degree. Shouldn’t I be working somewhere full time, contributing to my family and saving for retirement like a grown-up instead of working 70+ hours a week on a pittance? I applied to a few dream jobs, too, for which I did not get hired – has all this education and career development actually rendered me unemployable since I’ve been out of the traditional workforce for so long? Several people assured me that it didn’t, but they also assume I’m after an academic career. I’m not, so I still didn’t feel much better. I still don’t know if it’s hurt me. But, I dug into final papers and applying for summer jobs and pulled it out in the end.

Ph.D. – 50% complete.

I’m staying in DC this summer which I’m really happy about – I’m looking forward to having some time to explore my own city! So much to see and do here that I have not had a chance to yet, even after two years. I was going to do my first comp exam on May 23^rd, but found myself too exhausted at the end of this semester to push on through as all my classmates are doing. My health was suffering and work deadlines are also competing for my currently-limited energy, so I postponed the Comparative Politics comp until September. My Justice comp is not until the end of October, so there is still a large enough chunk of time in between to prepare. The minute I made that change, I felt as though a large weight of stress was lifted – I need to take care for my health and get some rest. I’ll still finish both comps by October which was the goal – I had just rushed the first one in case I got one of those dream jobs.

I do have summer employment, though. I’ve got 8-10 hours a week through July continuing on a project with a professor, 10 hours a week through August launching a program with a local kitchen ministry nonprofit, and I might also have another very short 2-3 day data analysis contract. Lastly, I’ve interviewed for a third part-time job that could be really key for my long-term mission because it’s directly involved in fighting human trafficking. I won’t jinx that by saying anything more specific, but I *think* the first interview went well so I’m hopeful to get the second.

That last gig would also continue long term which would be great for me personally, academically, and financially. I’d be serving the community in a tangible, real, direct way and thus end my isolation in the ivory tower – something that’s been very important to me because I did not leave Corporate America to simply write articles for academic journals that only a few people read. I’d be building important community, law enforcement and other professional connections, and also gain access to a ton of dissertation data – my research proposal matches one of their organizational data-use goals. And finally, my regular, year-round budget would get a needed, year-round increase. Given that the three-year scholarship I got on top of my assistantship goes away for the fourth year, I’ve been worried about making up the shortfall.

So anyway, praying and crossing fingers, toes and everything else that it comes through! Meanwhile, I’m catching up work for gig #1 and starting gig #2 this week. Also taking time this week to plan my academic work for the summer – if I get all three jobs I’ll be working 36 hours a week, and also need to read/study for both my comps and start on my dissertation proposal. Plus, prep 3-4 articles to submit for publication (still gotta jump those hurdles). And I’m visiting my mother, sister and nieces for a week at the end of this month before it all gets going, which I’m happy about.

Busy summer, much? Ha ha! I never entirely stick to my overly-aggressive schedules, but I want to at least start with a reading calendar that seems realistic and also allows some time for R&R.

I was very blessed to get back to church this morning – it’s been a few weeks and I have really missed it. I feel so off-center when I’m not in Mass regularly. But now, I’m gonna spend the rest of this afternoon goofing off.  #NoGuilt

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

Whirlwind

It’s been a while since I posted – busy month! Actually, I did goof off a little too much the first couple weeks of the semester, but now the midterm ramp-up is in full swing and things will be full-throttle until May 24^th, when I finish my first comprehensive exam.

Whoa.

There’s actually a lot going on at the moment, and some exciting things are brewing but not ready for prime time. I won’t address everything now but just felt like writing a little – I finished the work I had scheduled for today so I can do that without guilt for a few minutes. It does mean that I’m a little brain-fried right now so I might start slurring my words (ha ha). I’m just enjoying a nice cup of tea so I can unwind, hopefully get to bed early, and do it all again tomorrow.

Besides school work, my assistantship work has ramped up and I also picked up a little side-hustle (more about that another time, but it’s in the justice field). I want to do well at all of it since the people I’m working for deserve my best. Definitely doing that Steven Covey thing about making sure to put the big rocks in the jar first and fitting the smaller things in around them, and some things (like dusting the house) aren’t making it in at all. Eh. Well, there are also a couple big rocks that still got left out, but what can I say – for better or for worse, I prioritized. I can re-adjust over Spring Break.

I’m starting to retreat into the bat cave again and have to force myself now to keep being social. I was doing so well with all my new friends, but the problem I’m hitting now is that by the time it’s time to hang out, I’m exhausted and don’t want to go anywhere. But I must make the effort. I gave up booze for Lent, a decision about which I’m still questioning the wisdom, but the point is I won’t be fighting a hangover the next day if I go out so I need to just do it. Maintaining personal relationships is so important in life, no matter what else is going on.

On the other side, I’ve started going to weekday Mass a couple days a week in addition to Sunday and that has been wonderful. It’s been really special and I hope to keep it up, especially since I feel in need of extra strength this semester. I’m missing my prayer group tonight, though, which I’m bummed about but I’m just so tired. Hoping to make it next week but I have an exam the next day, so we’ll see.

This has been a little disjointed, and more about the mundane than the more exciting stuff in the works, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Until next time,

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

Month of Lean coming to an end

Six days left in January – thank goodness! This challenge has taught me what I can live without, but I will be so happy to do a huge grocery shop next Friday. This month of not getting paid has also taught me that I actually save money by doing a huge grocery shop at the beginning of the month because then the following weeks are not more than $25-30 each. Think I will do that again as I was spending more by sticking to a weekly budget for food rather than a monthly one. Always a good thing, because there are a couple of other places I can shuffle the extra money to!

It’s also been a great month for getting involved with the young adults’ (term used loosely) group at my church. I’ve been to several events already and it is so nice to have a social life now! What a nice group of people.

Alright, speaking of this group – I’ve got to go make a giant pot of Puerto Rican rice and beans for International Night tonight, and do a final edit on my grant proposal and some reading while it cooks.

Ta!

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

Classes, Week One

Well, resolutions aren’t going as strictly as prescribed, but they are going well! I think I’ll get them into workable form soon. First week of classes this week – overwhelmed but still not suicidal yet. Feeling pretty positive actually – though this weekend will be full of reading (already).

One thing that has me feeling pretty positive is that suddenly I’m having a social life. I have three social events this week alone! One could be a little expensive, but if I eat at home first I can get away with just having a ginger ale and getting to see a great Brazilian band with friends. Tuesday I went to a meditation and prayer group at church, which was really great. It’s a nice, small group and we plan to meet twice a month for some good quiet time. And Sunday I’m going to a pot luck with school friends. I wasn’t sure what to make for that but I think I might just heat and bring some frozen spanikopita hors d’ouerves I got at Trader Joe’s a couple weeks ago. Last time this friend had a party, she tried to teach us all Lebanese dancing –we sounded like a herd of elephants while she was all graceful! Good for laughs, but I better bring some wine too.

Thinking about papers for the semester early. I might do two related ones for the Terrorism and Political Institutions classes – thinking of looking at the motivations of individual suicide bombers for Terrorism and Crime, and at the organizations they join up with for Political Institutions. I still need to see which class I can revise my judicial legitimacy paper for, though – it doesn’t really fit any of the three I’m taking but I’ve got to get it publish-ready. Criminological Theory is probably my best hope, though it could also fit institutions if I wanted to add a bunch of additional theory I’ll just have to take back out for publication – which would be kind of a waste of time, right? I’m not really changing much in the analysis portion, but the conclusions and implications are what need beefing up. I won’t get that by spending a bunch of time on theory I don’t want to include in the final version. The only thing is that procedural justice and legitimacy theory is not on our Crim syllabus, which would be the obvious class, even though it should be.

Anyway, hopefully by the end of class tonight it will be sort of mapped out. My grant application is almost all ready to go, save for uploading a couple things, which is good. I can be done with that as a writing project by tomorrow and really just start on papers and this mammoth amount of reading. I didn’t write between 7am and 8am every morning, as was my original (extra-added) resolution, but I did intentionally write every day but one and it’s finished but the final proofing. If I stay flexible but committed, these resolutions might actually stick. I also noticed that practicing St. Ignatius’s Examen prayer each day, which we learned on Tuesday, has helped with keeping focus on the most important things whether spiritual or school-related. Odd, that.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

 

Rest-of-January Challenge

OK, friends, we’re going to look at this as a fun challenge!

I have $100 to last the next 18 days.

Thankfully, there are only two weekends in there, so only two grocery shops. The goal is $40 for each grocery shop and $20 for everything else. School supplies/books are all bought, so we just won’t have any spendy social events til February. I also previously stocked up on some important foodstuffs, like coffee – enough to see me through – but I didn’t have full stocks of everything yet so some creativity will still be required. I had planned earlier on these being lean weeks, but not quite this lean.

We can do this, people!

I also look at this as a great opportunity to focus on the simple things while getting started back at school tomorrow. If I can’t go spend money on crap, it’s a wonderful chance to for that and the goals I set out in previous posts. Plus, I’ve been wanting to host a BYOB games night for a while – perhaps now is the time!

Om Mani Padme Hum.